Baking is BACK - and it has a new voice.

Oolong and Grass have taken a rather clever (yet dark) twist on Embunny's Annual Christmas Cookie Bake...

apparently gingerbread men can now be certified organ donors. Nothing says happy holidays like a heart transplant.

After nearly catching her quaint abode on fire when some gingerbread fell on the heating element in her oven and burst into treacherous flames, Embunny recovered and created a gingerbread house masterpiece. She will now shamelessly plug her talents concerning baked goods, candy, icing, and an abundance of free time.

Holiday Cheer

Embunny has finally decided to make an appearance to the epic documentation that is Oolong, Sammy, and Grass. From the comfort of her home nest in the kitchen of 14000, she feels content and warm - partly from the fleece blanket she is currently enveloped in, partly from the glow of Monday night's gin binge that has still not left her poor body, and partly from... HOLIDAY CHEER.

Yes, friends, the time has come when Embunny is most happiest. Lights, Lucas (Embunny's faithful tree), tinsel... STOLEN BRANCHES FROM UVa?!!! It is true... Oolong has sneakishly smuggled festive pieces of Mr. Jefferson's Grounds into the beloved 112-34, and created a holiday masterpiece worthy of Southern Living. SL is Embunny's measure of success in this world, and thus this is a very generous compliment. Clearly, Sammy has found this foliage absolutely orgasmic in comparison to her normal asylum-esque cubby in the stacks of Clark. Oolong rejoices in the miracles of holiday joy. Embunny reminds everyone again of the infamous Fake Blizzard of '06 in the Lile 210s, and Christmas-Vom of '07 in their humble (very, VERY humble) Lambeth abode last year... Christmas holds a very special place in Embunny's heart, and she is compelled to share this with all those around. Oolong has found this same joy in carefully selected and arranged greenery. Biology is more than a major for Oolong - it is a lifestyle.

And what of Grass and Chris Seal? Their holiday joy has also been explosive, as seen in their respectively breathtaking viola and piano performances at Joy and Light. Embunny especially enjoyed the Jesus graphic in the program, which she mistook for a skunk upon first glance. After realizing her horrible mistake, Embunny repented (thank goodness she was already in a church) and later framed Jesus in her room for all to see and enjoy.

Embunny feels that she must pause at this point, and air her (very few) grievances of the holiday season.
(1) Why is it that they are forced to take horrid final exams on useless information before enjoying holiday cheer?? Embunny curses the administration of this fine University (minus Allen Groves, who always has his students' best interests at heart) for this Poor Life Decision (PLD). Holiday cheer is put off and ignored by the less faithful in place of living (and raving) in Clemons, aka The Point of No Return.
(2) Why did the mistletoe receive such sparse use this season? Oolong's lengthy efforts to make 112-34 into a kiss-friendly zone resulted in no exciting action within the actual 34. Extensive plans to set up Sammy with a "drink refill" rendezvous under the refridgerator mistletoe were dashed when the wrong prospects showed up, and the door mistletoe was met with a refusal to comply from Oolong's faithful companion. Embunny senses that mistletoe might have been placed somewhere else she was present, however...
(3) WHY HAS MOTHER NATURE CURSED OUR HOLIDAY SEASON? Embunny implores Sammy and Oolong to use their science skills to investigate this travesty, and requests that Grass infiltrate the local media and make a snow day happen. Until then, Embunny will continue to wear bunny slippers when she goes out at night, with no repercussions to her exposed toes.

Embunny finds these three grievances very small, however, and has decided to accept them and move on. She will still petition Allen Groves personally next year to have finals end earlier. She will also petition for more lights at Lighting of the Lawn (Embunny does not conserve energy because she does not believe in global warming - the earth is just giving her a great big warm hug right now). Embunny encourages everyone to embrace the holidays in every way possible for as long as possible. She has found that hanging ornaments in front of her library cubby and wearing jingle-bell socks spreads cheer to all around, especially when she jingles through the first floor of The Point of No Return. Merry Christmas to all (and Happy Hanukkah to a blessed few!) from Oolong, Sammy, Grass, Embunny, and Chris Seal!

SUCK ON THIS: Why the Twilight Series is utterly disappointing by GRASS

In a desperate attempt for entertainment, I picked up the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyers over Thanksgiving Break and proceeded to consume the content quite swiftly. I'll admit, the story is interesting and Meyers is creative. Still, after reading these books, I've become almost uncomfortable with what they've become. Maybe if they didn't have such a huge female following I wouldn't care, but the fact that so many people are going nuts over the "romance" has inspired me to lamely speak my peace. I've decided to list my qualms in an orderly fashion.

1. Who is Bella Swan? That's a good question! Don't ask Meyers, though because she doesn't know! In the Harry Potter series J.K. Rowling created a neutral lens character to focus perspective on - someone the reader could relate and project themselves onto and experience the story through. Meyers did the same for Bella. Oh wait, expect it didn't work and it SUCKED. Unlike Potter - an average boy with a strong sense of self who just happens to be thrust into a supernatural environment - Bella is a boring, flat, indifferent character thrust into a supernatural environment. Besides her consistent "anti-mainstream" attitude, there is little we can say about her. She doesn't take shape until Edward comes into the story. The only thing interesting about her is him and the new twist he puts on her life. The only back story we know about her involves her parents. This lack of personality is startling, especially when you consider the annoying amount of time that Meyers invests in Bella's "self reflection" in the text. Literally, after and before something major happens in the plot she dreams about it/thinks about it/talks it to death. You'd think that after that you might be able to say something interesting about the girl, right? False. Just try. Try and say something interesting about Bella Swan without talking about werewolves and vampaires. You can't.

2. Bella Swan's entire existence and self worth is defined by men. Now, I wouldn't call myself a feminist or anything, but this was a consistent theme that made me want to rip my hair out while I read these books. As mentioned before, she isn't interesting until Edward comes. When he leaves, she warps into a dull, emo chick who can only function after finding another boy (Jacob Black) and feed off of his happiness. Her story is a reaction to Edward and Jacob's Tug of War. She is indecisive, inconsistent, and a poor example for an independent females.

3. This book advocates idolatry, not true love. The fact that she deems her life worthless without him is very troubling. In the book she defines her personal hell as an existence without Edward. Sweetie, the real defiition of hell is an existence without God. This kind of love is plain unhealthy and shouldn't be mimicked on any level. I'm not even just speaking from a religious perspective (don't get me started), but love should complete someone. It shouldn't destroy someone. It shouldn't force someone to change, become dependent, or loose the little that makes them, well...them.

4. The people who "edited" this book should be shot...no I take that back. They should be banished to an island and be forced to read these books over and over and over again, running their tired eyes over every unnecessary word and scene that they allowed between the worthless binding. This stupid novel is so frggin redundant. I can't tell you how many times I had to put it down during one of Bella's personal rants of indecision or overly literal dreams that she surprisingly couldn't figure out (grrrrrrr!). Seriously??? It was absolutely intolerable during some parts. The plot structure was uneven, the action was poorly dispersed, and with a few exceptions the characters didn't develop. Each book could've been condensed into much shorter works. Let's save some trees, people! Please!

5. It's just plain scary that people are actually holding the contents and characters of these books up as ideals of some sort. If any teenage girls are reading this (unlikely), please please please understand: you DO NOT want to be like Bella Swan. You don't want to be a girl who gives up her sense of self, her family, her friends, and her very humanity to be with a boy. I don't care how hot he is. I personally believe that the only way this story could've worked for me is if they parted ways or Bella held on to her humanity while Edward stayed by her side. Aside from the bad writing and other flaws, that's the only way the story could've displayed the true nature of love. Honestly, the ending (sorry if I gave it away) only advocates unhealthy selflessness. Again, this is idolotary and not LOVE. It's unhealthy! Unhealthy, I say!

Sorry for being such a crazy downer, but I had to let it out. Honeslty, these books were fanscinating and I'm not sorry I read them. It gave me some thought provoking material to work with - just probably not in the way intended. It made me an unexpected, yet needed does of reality. If you insist on reading Twilight saga, do it as an educational experience in critical thought OR simply for guilty pleasure. That's fine. Please, just don't raise it to the level of honorable romance. I might cry!

1st Year Memories...How OSG has Evolved:

It's been a good long while since our innocent, care-free days of first year. We've all changed in many ways... our hair (Chris Seal), our fields of study (again, Chris Seal), our legal status (Oolong)...

Now third year is upon us and we've set aside some of our blog space to reflect on what once was. Below are some of the pieces of our past...

Ooling used to passionately in love with Sammy. Now, this hasn't exactly changed, but Ooling has become much better at suppressing her urges.

During our first year, Oolong, Sammy, and I used to attend football games with barrels of optimism and awe. Isn't that just precious?

Just two years ago, Chris Seal and I didn't know how to pose for pictures (and apparently, Chris Seal didn't know how to cut his hair). We used to think the odd contraption was flashing and stealing our souls away from us. Now, as wise third years we've learned how to work it (although we still have the occasional awkward 8th grade picture).

We also used to be emo, as evidenced by this picture. Oolong and I invested a good portion of our days in Webb sipping black coffee and expressing our hidden feelings in orginal, oddly formated poetic thought. We wore a lot of black and Oolong dyed her hair. It's been black ever since (original color: strawberry blonde). Over the years, we learned to embrace happiness while also retaining our mysterious artistic sides.

One thing, however, hasn't changed at all.

We're still friggin adorable!

peace,
Grass

SAMMY SPEAKS!!

"If it ain't baroque, don't fix it."

on aging and arborists

"Why would evolution select for organisms with renewable tissues, given the danger of developing cancer? The benefits of renewable tissues—the ability to regenerate or repair tissues damaged by injury or endogenous degenerative processes—may have outweighed their risks...Gatekeeper tumor suppressors act on cells, causing them to die (apoptosis) or permanently arrest proliferation (senescence)...traits that benefit young organisms—suppressing cancer, for example—can have unselected deleterious effects—driving aging phenotypes, for example—later in the life span" (Campisi 2005).

Oolong thinks this is one of the most beautiful papers she has ever read, explaining how aging may have evolved as a side-effect of cancer suppression. Basically, our bodies have regulating processes that kill or "freeze" oncogenic cells; this safety measure, however, is a source of age-related cell decline and death. Above, a dividing cancer cell; note the finger-like projections typical of a cancer cell.

On another note, Oolong now knows what she would like to do with the rest of her life--become a tree doctor. Seriously, enough with skin cells--bring on the leaves! She leaves you with pictures of trees. Forget yarn--this is the real porn.


Oolong is secretly contemplating emailing the UVa arborist to ask him to let her become a tree doctor intern. Updates to come. She leaves you with a photo of the whole gang from Halloween, when they all dressed up as computer commands. "Don't judge" is becoming the motto of her life.

pirates, shi-shi, and cold weather

Oolong is experiencing the feeling of the world turning over, because she has just learned the real meaning of a word that she held dear to her heart.

Somalian pirates seize a Saudi Arabian OIL TANKER for a $10 million ransom

It seems that this is not an oil tanker:

This is an oil tanker.


Obviously, Shi-Shi cannot drive this large marine vehicle over land to maim and flatten small piglets. And we can no longer use the excuse, "Oh, I'm sorry I can't make it, my mom just got run over by an oil tanker."

Anyway, this post is really to talk about PIRATES! Who have begun to swarm the oceans in search for oil and military weapons rather than gold, jewels, and Davy Jones's heart.

Now, Oolong knows she should not approve of this modern day thievery, especially when seizing a large vessel of crude oil that could be fueling her huge SUV and Hummer to pollute the air and cause more global warming, but she feels as though being a Somalian pirate would be just so darn cool.

Is that fleece he's wearing? If so, did he get it from Old Navy (fleece scarves on sale now for $5)? Speaking of which, last night it snowed, the first time it has snowed in November in Virginia for many years now. Oolong has some tips for you to stay warm:

1) Bundle up in a yellow cape, yielding the two fold benefit of warmth and nighttime visibility.
2) Get Oolong to knit you a hat. Due to economic woes this year, she is making everyone hats for Christmas and is using frostbite prevention as an excuse.
3) Visit the library cafe before walking home at wee hours in the morning. Get a Supremo black coffee. Use the cup as gloves.
4) When all else fails, pull on your beer jacket, and zip up tightly.

News Flash! Grass is Shocked and Appalled by Oolong's Post!

Grass is shocked and Appalled by Oolong's Post!

The graphic content of that close-up picture is vulgar on so many levels, Oolong. You should be ashamed of yourself for putting such racy material on the internet. Grandmothers taking buses everywhere are ashamed of you and your kitsch treatment of that crimson yarn. How do you live with yourself?

That's right, Oolong. You just keep smiling away without a care in the world. Keep those two fingers up and alert. Just remember that on the left is the proper reaction to your antics. I, Grass, take knitting ethics very seriously.

And here is one final thought:












In peace,
G

P.S.: Grass in in Alderman stacks right now writing three papers due at the beginning of the week, basically hating life. Funny the verbose rage that procrastination can procure.

knits and purls, by oolong

Oolong has officially become her grandmother. Or one of those middle-aged women who blogs about their children, knitting, and their adventures riding the bus or in their LYS (Local Yarn Shop), while taking close-up, semi-artistic photos of their recent fiber purchases or FOs [Finished (knitted) Objects].

Oolong is not making fun of these bloggers--rather, she obsessively reads knitting blogs to procrastinate before finishing bio lab. A day when the Yarn Harlot (don't judge me) has updated is a good day.

The Return of the Nuts!!

At long last, Chris Seal's precious trail mix has been returned to him. It's been too long since he last held the lovely plastic container between his hands. He missed the way the M&Ms added color and how the marriage of raisin and cashew offered the perfect balance of sweet and salty flavors on his tongue.


Oolong, Sammy, and Grass haven't seen him this excited since the Golf Ball of 2007 incident (see above).

This incident is so post-worthy.

What we are doing right now...at 1am on a Thursday....

Just minutes before she was watching Iron Chef. Now, Oolong is rolling around in a large pile of yarn happily. This is for two reasons: she was a cat in her last life and her bed is currently inhabitable.


Grass is studying epic failure, but doesn't know if she's approaching it the right way. In addition, Grass has just remember that she hid Chris Seal's trail mix somewhere in their apartment a week ago. Now, she just had to remember where.


Sorry Chris Seal. He's probably playing the piano with his blistered hands, suffering from a case of the munchies.

Sammy is busy being cold.
She's also listening to everyone's problems compassionately...
all the time. So basically, your average Thursday night.

****Something to look forward to: Oolong's knitting update. Coming soon! Are you as excited as she is?

Probably not.

Nostalgia with a Side of Dried Cranberries, GPC, and Leisure

When we were little and illiterate (see the above picture - most Asian image in existence, btw) we were comforted by pretty pictures to entertain us. We can read now, but we still like pretty pictures so we are going to show you some:

Below are Chris Seal's 21st birthday candles. Oolong is the short one.

Embunny baked the funfetti loveliness. We especially enjoy the way the candles match the icing

Above are the Blonde ones: Grass and Embunny looking gorgeous in blue!!

Below is the classic Grass/Oolong picture from the first week of 1st year. Where has the time gone?? I used to be so strong! To see how things have done downhill, just glance at the above image from a few weeks ago. Oolong blames gun control...

In closing, here are some profound thoughts from each of us:

Grass: Oolong is sitting next to me and has just informed me that my alter ego is a healer and spiritual lecturer. Apparently, she arranges furniture in pleasing formations that inspire creativity, harmony, and excessive giggling. Oh if only I could jump into a telephone booth and become that at a moment's notice. I wonder what cape I would wear....

Oolong: Why did they discontinue green ketchup? I liked the complement of the green goo on green lettuce and the brown burger in between. I felt like a wood elf. I want to feel like an elf again (If Chris Seal were here he would crack a joke at that. Actually, we all would).

Sammy: Corrosion!!



love,
O.S.G

Oolong, Sammy, and Grass: The coolest Nerds You'll Ever Meet!

Welcome to our humble blog, avid readers! We obviously are procrastinating in an attempt to distract our troubled souls from the rigor of everyday Wahoo Life. What's your excuse?

Basically, we have no lives. In fact, we are studiously preparing for our lives. One day Oolong, the small one, aspires to be a Chinese Gymnast with her own knitting podcast entitled "Stitching for the Blind." Sammy, the sensible one, will probably invent a new color or stop the corroding in the world with her left pinky finger. With her right index finger, she intends to stop fascism and global warming (which Oolong doesn't think exists). During this time, Grass, the awesome one, will live in a box lined with old news clippings and nineteenth century poetry, playing boggle "with my by myself" (and Chris Seal if he visits) and writing out their life narratives with sidewalk chalk.

Just for a rehash, that's...Oolong, the small one; Sammy, the senisble one; Grass, the awesome one; Chris Seale, the strange one; and Embunny, the baked one

You're probably thinking, "Wow, that's really something. How will they achieve these momumental dreams?" That's a great question, reader. The answer is hidden between the spaces of our what-if's, childhood hide-outs, and Real Space.

Actually, that's not right at all. We really don't know.

In the meantime, we indeed to add to this blog whenever the great google spirits move us. If you're lucky you might learn something - like how Oolong knits cables or our special friend, Embunny makes baked goods in the classical style. These beautious things await you right here....on the Amazing Adventures of Oolong, Sammy, and Grass!