FML

So the contributors of GPC United have been having a pretty crappy week, and as the morose one it was only fitting that my first post would be of this nature. So here's how our weeks have been going...FML style.

Embunny: I have a real bunny in my closet. FML

Sammy: My baroque oboe is broke, and I can't fix it. FML

Oolong: I went to the gym today and got dehydrated...I was too short to reach the handle of the water fountain. FML

Grass: I have to write three papers about Fanny Price this week. She's so f***ing boring! FML

Chris Seal: I woke up this morning. FML

OSG terms

"huggle" - word coined by Oolong; somewhere between a hug and a snuggle (often done in stacks)

"Guilty Pleasure Club" (GPC) - a club founded by Oolong, Chris Seale, and Grass partaking in guilty pleasures

"meow" - an exclamation of happiness, despair, or surprise

"Italy" - synonymous with Germany according to Chris Seale

"Sad Panda" - a panda that is particularly sad and aggressive

"emo" - a tree disease

got the jitters

Poor planning led Oolong to visit the Clark Greenberry's just before it closed at about 10 o'clock, where she ordered a large coffee with room to amuse her taste buds while she typed busily away at her Jane Austen paper. She's been done with her paper since, oh, 3:45, but caffeine is a cruel mistress.

My Valentines Day by Grass

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single girl of sweet disposition and romantic inclinations must be in want of a Valentine."

FALSE!

As a girl who spent the bulk of her Valentines Day with Celibate Men of God at the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception and the Dominican House of Studies, I can defy this so called "truth" with confidence. Not only did my February 14th rock, but I got to spend it with some of the cooler people on the planet.



In fact, while others were satisfied with honoring St. Valentine (who died in APRIL, btw), we pulled our efforts into honoring St. Cyril and St. Methodius who brought Catholicism to the Slavic peoples. It was their offical feast day on Saturday. Now, when I strolled into Hallmark looking for my Cyril and Methodius Slavic merchandise, you can image how disapointed I was!



Other highlights from the weekend included Connor Breed's dog, watching two classy men chicken fight on the subway, and eating Valentines Day ice cream with Ooling, Sammy, and James (who doesn't get a nickname because Oolong has decided he is above such foolishness). By the BY, for future reference, Ben and Jerry's ice cream has a "cupid" discount on V day for the poor single girls out there shoveling it in. While I am single but not sad, it didn't take away from my appreciation of the $1.02 I saved. Perhaps St. Valentine IS looking after us all...



We proceeded to make our happy lists. Mine included napping, thinking of Helen Keller, and taking pictures of U.Va, and secretly ruling the world. Oolong hopes to find more pictures of baby animals to scare me with and Sammy plans on napping.






That's all for now. Oolong has promised a post soon. If we're lucky it will be related to knitting...

lovelove,
Grassss

"25" OSG style

Yeah, that's right sucka. We're doing a triple toe loop on to this bandwagon. Be enlightened by our witty, mysterious facts.

Behold - 25 things you didn't know (and probably never need to know) about us:

1) Contrary to popular belief, Oolong is NOT Asian. It is a carefully instructed illusion. Do not be fooled.

2) Grass often lies (see #1)

3) Sammy attributes Grass' lying to her deep set jealousy of Oolong's knitting skills. To preserve the safety in the apartment, she has hidden all the needles.

4) We would make a very good joke: "A Catholic, Protestant, and Buddhist walk into a bar..." OR "A conservative, liberal, and confused moderate walk into a bar..." OR "A tree surgeon, chemist, and homeless NPR listener walk into a bar..."

5) Oolong likes to find pictures of baby animals online and scare Grass with them

6) No one can microwave a dinner like Sammy can

7) Oolong skipped down the Lawn singing the Sound of Music during our first late night college experience. It was awesome.

9) We had an 8, but Chris Seale projectile vommited over it...so....

10) We all like the movie "She's the Man." Don't judge. You do too.

11) Only two people read our blog and they are both named Lauren (HI LAUREN! I LOVE YOU!!!!!)

12) Grass purposely chose two roommates who would be capable of supporting her financially in later life.

13) Sammy hates used cars and justly so. There is nothing as cheap and undesirable as a used car.

14) Our Christmas decorations are still up

15) We still have Embunny's pancake griddle. We refuse to return it until after she starts the French Revolution U.Va style (minus the Reign of Terror)

16) Sammy's first kiss was in a car. Oolong's first kiss was on a playground. Grass' first kiss was in a church.

17) Grass was sat on as a child.

18) Oolong is a child.

19) Grass is Elizabeth Bennet and Elinor Dashwood - mocking, sharp, internal

20) Oolong is Margaret Dashwood and Emma Woodhouse - observant, bubbly, social

21) Mara is Anne Elliot and Jane Bennet - wise, patient, angelic

22) ...and Chris Seale is Mr. Collins (hehehehe)

23) Our happy place would be a Webb dorm room with throw down pillows, good conversation, Disney music, GPC movies, Michael Phelps, a nerf gun, salt, hard cider, yarn, sad panda (just kidding), homemade mashed potatoes, and pine sol.

24) Whenever we go to IHOP, Grass and Oolong have a competition to see who can make butter faster. You take one of those half and half cylinders and shake it for over an hour. Then, open it and count how many curds you made! ...Wow, it sounds so much lamer when you type it out

25) Oolong, Sammy, and Grass the names of three very small, very cute piglets

Baking is BACK - and it has a new voice.

Oolong and Grass have taken a rather clever (yet dark) twist on Embunny's Annual Christmas Cookie Bake...

apparently gingerbread men can now be certified organ donors. Nothing says happy holidays like a heart transplant.

After nearly catching her quaint abode on fire when some gingerbread fell on the heating element in her oven and burst into treacherous flames, Embunny recovered and created a gingerbread house masterpiece. She will now shamelessly plug her talents concerning baked goods, candy, icing, and an abundance of free time.

Holiday Cheer

Embunny has finally decided to make an appearance to the epic documentation that is Oolong, Sammy, and Grass. From the comfort of her home nest in the kitchen of 14000, she feels content and warm - partly from the fleece blanket she is currently enveloped in, partly from the glow of Monday night's gin binge that has still not left her poor body, and partly from... HOLIDAY CHEER.

Yes, friends, the time has come when Embunny is most happiest. Lights, Lucas (Embunny's faithful tree), tinsel... STOLEN BRANCHES FROM UVa?!!! It is true... Oolong has sneakishly smuggled festive pieces of Mr. Jefferson's Grounds into the beloved 112-34, and created a holiday masterpiece worthy of Southern Living. SL is Embunny's measure of success in this world, and thus this is a very generous compliment. Clearly, Sammy has found this foliage absolutely orgasmic in comparison to her normal asylum-esque cubby in the stacks of Clark. Oolong rejoices in the miracles of holiday joy. Embunny reminds everyone again of the infamous Fake Blizzard of '06 in the Lile 210s, and Christmas-Vom of '07 in their humble (very, VERY humble) Lambeth abode last year... Christmas holds a very special place in Embunny's heart, and she is compelled to share this with all those around. Oolong has found this same joy in carefully selected and arranged greenery. Biology is more than a major for Oolong - it is a lifestyle.

And what of Grass and Chris Seal? Their holiday joy has also been explosive, as seen in their respectively breathtaking viola and piano performances at Joy and Light. Embunny especially enjoyed the Jesus graphic in the program, which she mistook for a skunk upon first glance. After realizing her horrible mistake, Embunny repented (thank goodness she was already in a church) and later framed Jesus in her room for all to see and enjoy.

Embunny feels that she must pause at this point, and air her (very few) grievances of the holiday season.
(1) Why is it that they are forced to take horrid final exams on useless information before enjoying holiday cheer?? Embunny curses the administration of this fine University (minus Allen Groves, who always has his students' best interests at heart) for this Poor Life Decision (PLD). Holiday cheer is put off and ignored by the less faithful in place of living (and raving) in Clemons, aka The Point of No Return.
(2) Why did the mistletoe receive such sparse use this season? Oolong's lengthy efforts to make 112-34 into a kiss-friendly zone resulted in no exciting action within the actual 34. Extensive plans to set up Sammy with a "drink refill" rendezvous under the refridgerator mistletoe were dashed when the wrong prospects showed up, and the door mistletoe was met with a refusal to comply from Oolong's faithful companion. Embunny senses that mistletoe might have been placed somewhere else she was present, however...
(3) WHY HAS MOTHER NATURE CURSED OUR HOLIDAY SEASON? Embunny implores Sammy and Oolong to use their science skills to investigate this travesty, and requests that Grass infiltrate the local media and make a snow day happen. Until then, Embunny will continue to wear bunny slippers when she goes out at night, with no repercussions to her exposed toes.

Embunny finds these three grievances very small, however, and has decided to accept them and move on. She will still petition Allen Groves personally next year to have finals end earlier. She will also petition for more lights at Lighting of the Lawn (Embunny does not conserve energy because she does not believe in global warming - the earth is just giving her a great big warm hug right now). Embunny encourages everyone to embrace the holidays in every way possible for as long as possible. She has found that hanging ornaments in front of her library cubby and wearing jingle-bell socks spreads cheer to all around, especially when she jingles through the first floor of The Point of No Return. Merry Christmas to all (and Happy Hanukkah to a blessed few!) from Oolong, Sammy, Grass, Embunny, and Chris Seal!