Kiwi

Embunny's world has been crushed. She discovered an adorable YouTube video with her little sister over Spring break, entitled "Kiwi." (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs) Upon returning to school, she discussed the touching story of the kiwi bird that dreamed of flying with Oolong, Sammy, and Grass. Embunny heartstrings were pulled when she watched him, and she had visions of her and Kiwi one day being great friends.

Then Oolong told Embunny that Kiwi died.

Embunny's spirit is now crushed. She sobs uncontrollably whenever a certain fuzzy green fruit is mentioned, or flightless birds, or cliffs, or flying, or failing at life. Oolong turned up the volume on the video at the end, and made Embunny face the harsh reality of the last 5 seconds: a faint splatting sound.

Kiwi died believing in himself, and Embunny only hopes to be as noble and brave and cute as this precious bird.

Attention: Shocking News of the Moment!

I love Dora the Explorer as much as your average, well educated twenty year old half Filipino. This is why I was shocked and appalled at the bomb dropped on me in my Media Studies class earlier this week. Behold: my innocent Dora! Look what they've done to her!


<-------- Before










...and post puberty!!!!!!!!!

Reactions from my class upon seeing the image:

Girl 1: "No f****** way!"

Class nerd 1: "Just another way the corporate media interests are sexing up all content. Nothing is immune."

Disheartened Student 1: "My little sister is going to be so confused..."

Girl 2: "How do you say skank in Spanish?"

Boy in Corner: "She's hot!!!!"

While Nerd 1 has a valid point, I think there are other more important questions to consider. How, for instance, does tween Dora expect to use her magic backpack if it no longer goes with her outfit? What will she do? Will she get a magic talking handbag? Will it be the same? Can it hold her map the same way backpack can? HOW DO YOU SAY HANDBAG IN SPANISH? Will tween Dora teach me??? She is no longer properly dressed for her interactive, multilingual and educational adventures!

So ends the shocking moment of the week. Take it as you will.